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I was eating a chocolatey cupcake today
With Rainbow Sprinkles.
The snow flakes were coming down fat like thanksgiving day balloons.
The air chilled and I walked by your black overcoat.
I walked down the block and again it was the black neatly tailored business coat.
The neatly cropped brunnette hair belied what was truly you.
It failed to give away the
Venomous viscitudes beneath the veneer was truly you.
It took my breath away
It came, it went. An apparition that will not die.
knowing that we would not share a cupcake together in the snow.
Nor would you take your pinky and wipe the chocolate icing off my chin.
My eyes were watering from the cold air...
I didnt really know...
as I walked onwards. My hooded down coat sheltering me more than your arms ever did.
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12-23-2008, 10:04 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-23-2008, 11:29 PM by bblue.)
you give it color and multiple "zooms" in several painterly ways.
for example, when you introduce sprinkles, it both magnifies the food and adds variety...
I still wish they were rainbow ones though since they look nicer....
The contrasting moods of clothes.
I like when you write about objects because you describe them quite painterly. and the last line is quite something...very sweet and feminine
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I would love for you to turn your heartbreak poems into broken heart without the blame...
like try to see things from both points,
his and yours
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01-02-2009, 01:08 AM
(This post was last modified: 01-02-2009, 01:10 AM by flowergirl11.)
bblue Wrote:I would love for you to turn your heartbreak poems into broken heart without the blame...
like try to see things from both points,
his and yours
thanks for the input and taking the time to read them. THEY ARE ALREADY RAINBOW COLORED SPRINKLES...heh heh heh....as for blame, who knows maybe that really doesnt matter. the words are just meant to capture a thought and a moment. but since moments are interchangeable....feelings can morph...just like life itself as well as as jimmys music. everything we are exposed to datermines our reactions. so there are an infinite number of responses--probably all a as valid as the next.
i hope you didnt do something horrible to be banned. dont know what thats about. i went to you blog. nice pics.
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thanx so much for sharing these. glad you are still writing!
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starlit Wrote:thanx so much for sharing these. glad you are still writing!
yeh i feel it comes very thinnly and when it does it is all simplistic stuff....but well better than nothing though...still waiting for some haikus...
all seems to be well with you...
seems ur going to SEATLLE...hope its a great time!!
i opted not to go to School of Rock...too much on my mind. had gone to quite a few east coast dates which will last me...
